How To Live A Better Life - Season 3, Episode 2: "Getting Rid Of Ryan"

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I'm finding out the hard way that I should have been much, much more timely with these reviews. I mean, I feel like I owe it to Zach and Jordan to give them immediate feedback on the newest episode, and I also owe the same to the audience these reviews have found based on their interest in the show. So for that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that time hasn't quite been on my side lately. College has been a trip so far, but now that I'm coming down from that initial high of independence and existence in a largely adult world, I'm making plans to be able to stick with it for the next three-and-a-half years. One thing that needs to change in order for that to be a reality is that my productivity needs a little kick in the ass.

When I mentioned that I was finding out "the hard way", I was referencing the last review I wrote for this show. In the Stray Observations column I mentioned how this show was putting off a serious reality show vibe, that continues onto this episode. While I still stand by that it has its reality show elements in the season premiere, I can't for the life of me figure out what I was talking about when I said it also showed up in this episode. I mean, this is almost a typical How To Live A Better Life episode, with a few tweaks. Consider it a hybrid of what the show was and what it is now. It has pacing! Real, tv show pacing. During the first 2/3rds of the episode, it was cutting back and forth between the A and B stories, the A story being Mike and Jordan reuniting and trying to get rid of Ryan, and the B story being the Derkiss on a feverish manhunt for his star J-Dawg. And in the end, both story lines converged, only to split back off again and create two new stories, both of which will recur throughout the rest of the season. I know it's basic storytelling, but it's so fresh when How To Live A Better Life does it. That could be considered an insult to the show's past, but I don't care. This is how it is now, and I love it.

What I find interesting though, is how the show, despite taking on new forms of telling its stories, was still trying to get back to the Mike and Jordan of it all. Mike puts it perfectly, right before the episode came to a head:

"We feel like we've just gotten back together and we need more shenanigans, but you just kinda put a damper on things. Would you mind just...staying somewhere else?"

Mike is talking to Ryan in this scene, trying to get rid of him, and this line works. Ryan of course always goes with the flow and never takes offense to anything. I feel like this is the show's way of acknowledging how it dabbled in heightened storytelling but ultimately decided that it's not what it needs to focus on. What further sells this is how the shot is framed. The camera is placed in Ryan's perspective, or a POV shot, looking up at Mike and Jordan as they talk directly to the camera. This kind of shot allows us to look through Ryan's eyes, so while the characters are talking to Ryan, the creators are also talking to the audience. Now this type of angle is nothing new to the show, that doesn't mean it can't be used to send a message. How To Live A Better Life has touched darkness, and darkness touched it back. Now I would argue that the darkness has improved the show, I think that it just really wants to get back to Mike and Jordan's silly antics as a center for it all to orbit around. Splitting up the characters was fun, but that's HTLBL's heart, and as long as there are still good ideas on how to play these guys off of each other in different situations, you can't seriously fault the show for sticking to what it does best.

I think that elements of this 3-episode arc will stick with the show as it plays out the rest of its vastly improved third season, but I know that it doesn't want to lose track of its identity. This is the final season after all. Narrowing the scope and focusing on our main characters as they prepare to deal with whatever ends their stories is not a bad idea. There are still new and big ideas on the horizon, new characters, and new laughs, don't worry. However, above all of that, this is a show about Mike and Jordan. We need to know just how exactly one lives a better life.

Stray Observations:

• The Derkiss is currently the subject of a manhunt by the police, yet allows his location and antics to be filmed by the documentary crew. Ever heard of the phrase "comedy without consequence"? It can be both a good and a bad thing.
• Behold, the first (and only) title sequence without any footage. New music though. This arc really has thrown the show off of its groove. No wonder why it wants to get back to its roots.
• "GET RID OF RYAN!" I swear, these guys do that sort of thing just to spite me.
• "Home is where the.....gay!"
• Jordan's middle name is Octavius, and if he is found James Derkiss will award you with a major role in an upcoming Hollywood film. Also if someone would like to pay his bail, that'd be great.
• "I really hope the ASPCA sees these!"
• Oh yes, more of Jordan's over-the-top crying.
• "You two are like brothers to me, it's gonna be like living with brothers!"
• Jordan majored in pasteurization in pastor school. It's Arrested Development.
• And now James has roped Ryan into his terrible business practices.
• That was a somewhat lazy ending.

Overall episode grade: B+

How To Live A Better Life - Season 3, Episode 1: "A (Not So) Better Life"

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First thing's first, I came up with that episode title, so this season is already off to a great start.

It's here, finally. Well it's been here for over a week but thanks to college I haven't had a real good chance to write the review until now. None of that matters. We need to discuss how this show has handled the aftermath of a finale that split its world in two. Jordan has run off with the Derkiss to New York so he can pursue his acting ambitions by making movies James Derkiss will produce. The Derkiss is kind of a production everyman, in that he is first and foremost a producer, but can also act as an agent, director, or writer. He's pretty much guaranteed to be able to add something to any project he works on. Whether or not he's actually good at any of that is another story.

Like many season premieres, How To Live A Better Life kicks off a considerable amount of time after its previous finale, but not before the show picks up immediately where it left off to show us who was on the other side of Mike's phone call. It was Ryan, naturally. I mean, at the time of the finale we didn't know who Mike was calling (I did), so that leaves much room for speculation, but when the show reveals that secret you can't help but think, "Oh, duh.". I mean, there isn't a huge collection of characters for the show to draw from in this kind of moment, much less ones that Mike continually interact with who aren't named Jordan Ross, so when you really think about it the only reasonable answer would be Ryan Sylvan. Sure, you could argue that this would be to set up a new character, but like I said, Mike doesn't know anybody. He has direct ties to Jordan and Ryan, and that's it. In accordance to what we've seen on the show, there is nobody (at least in America) he could comfortably call and make plans with. That may change, but I'm just telling it like it is.

So the season starts right off with that and a joke. Very good. Then we hit the time jump, which is a whole three months. Not enough time to make a feature film, but surely something has to be in the works or various stages of production. Not a chance. This is James Derkiss we're talking about. I'm pretty sure he's blacklisted from the major production companies and media outlets. He's just poison. He has terrible ideas and even worse ways for implementing them, as shown in the episode. The guy goes to jail and then subsequently breaks out, for pete's sake. He's a cockroach. Put him in any sort of situation and he'll find a way to make it worse or weasel out of it. So good on Jordan for deciding to get the hell out of dodge when he did. The Derk was going to drag his career into an early grave so his could have some company.

Speaking of production, specifically production value, this premiere did not disappoint. We went into the big city to film the exteriors for "New York", which is so recognizably Indianapolis, Indiana that it's not even funny. But it's not like we could just go to the real New York to get a few fleeting shots (and a couple of sequences involving thematically-appropriate tree signs), so the suspension of disbelief holds up there. How To Live A Better Life is filmed on an average budget of about -$15. "Really?" you ask after you see the sequence of Jordan running home set to licensed music, and I say really. That entire part is just gold thanks to the green screen. Especially him running in the scene from The Dark Knight Rises where the football stadium collapses. It's perfect. The entire time this has been going on, Mike has been trying to turn Ryan into a semi-Jordan because he is crazy and has abandonment issues, which leads to a slightly awkward moment when he finally arrives home to see this taking place, but it's actually a moment of rejoice. Jordan coming home pretty much signifies that How To Live A Better Life has returned, in more ways than one. Expect a nice balance of the same old antics mixed with heightened storytelling. This current story arc isn't over yet.

What? Serialized storytelling in How To Live A Better Life? Yeah, I know.

Stray Observations:

• Some residual callback-itis is present in this episode, with the gratuitous zoom on Ryan's mouth (check), Mountain Dew, Mike taking Haperal, and more.
• "Life is meaningless and we're all going to die anyway." Classic Ryan.
• Not sure why The Derkiss had to give Jordan a tour of the house they had been living in for three months...wait I know: Exposition.
• "If you want a TV, you can just...buy a TV!"
• Those Rembrandt "Pastries" tasted godawful and were very, very old. My saliva was very blue for a long time.
• The exterior shots of "New York" coupled with the music gave off a big reality show vibe, which doesn't exactly go away (more on that next episode).
• Overall Episode Grade: B+   

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 14: "The Derkiss"

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I may or may not have hyped this episode a great deal. I mean, naturally an episode like this would have more excitement for it than others, being a season finale and all. Even loosely-plotted comedies usually pull out something rather big for a finale. It's how you guarantee your viewers are going to come back. End on a cliffhanger, and they are going to want to know what happens next. Or, you can fully wrap up your season's story and start anew next year, though you usually have to have a sort of trust that your viewers will still be frothing at the mouth thinking of what next season's story will be like. The recent trend of "different story, different cast, different characters every season" that has been made popular by shows such as American Horror Story, True Detective, and Fargo has to wrap everything up under the latter strategy, and it's so damn good (At least for True Detective and Fargo, I haven't begun watching American Horror Story yet) that I do get giddy over new details regarding what story will be told next season. How To Live A Better Life, with its identity comprised of mostly self-contained episodes, could have very well just made up some finale-esque story for this episode and wrap it all up before its over so the mood was conveyed. At least that's what I would expect. I would not expect the show to upset the balance in its world and actually cause concern for the characters. I would not expect a bit of drama. I would not expect a cliffhanger to be resolved next season. I would not expect to care long-term.

I've been saying it all season. This is not the show you should develop expectations for, because all of that happened. Perhaps even more shockingly, it's not bullshit.

That's right! How To Live A Better Life just got serialized, if only for a couple episodes, but it's definitely a change. Hopping on that train, I feel like the style of these reviews need to change. They're kind of a hybrid of recapping the events of the episode and my reaction to them. Honestly, it's kind of a chore to make sure I cover an entire episode's story in one review. I like how some of the A/V Club writers do their reviews: not a recap, but they highlight some element, scene, or theme of the episode, talk about how it applies, and run with that. They may not even mention half of the episode. You're supposed to have watched it anyway, so why are you just reading what you just saw? It's redundant. Usually in the intros to these reviews I try to come up with something the episode made me realize about the show or something related to it. I enjoy writing that way, rather than just repeating the episode for you. I'm sorry that it's taking so long to get to the point here, but, with this watershed moment in the series, the show is saying that it's time to change. We are heading into the final season, you know. I griped about the show needing to grow up a couple episodes ago, and now that it is, now that is is taking risks with new ideas and respecting the audience (for the most part), while still being the same show we all know and love (to hate), the reviews need to grow with it. I just thought I'd let you know. Things aren't going to be the exact same, but that's good. Change is good. I'm about to go off to college, 2 hours away from my home and family. Could that be influencing this decision? Partially, but the show seriously is getting better, and from what I've seen and participated in for the upcoming third and final season, this episode isn't just a flash in the pan. This is a harbinger of things to come, thematically, and I couldn't be more excited. This is why I love television, and scripted episodic content in general. This is why I live, people.

Right, the actual episode. It almost plays like a series finale with the amount of callbacks that are in the episode. For the first time what seems like a very long time, the infamous, deadly basement stairs are mentioned, and even walked upon! Twice! Mike begins to go downstairs at the beginning of the episode, and immediately corrects himself because obviously Jordan doesn't live down there anymore. That just seems like an odd mistake to make, especially now that you're pretty much a resident of that house. It makes the callback seem forced, and forced jokes are not fun. There was another Arrested Development reference in this episode, and unlike the one in "Mike and Jordan Get Serious", it wasn't forced at all, which is great. After Jordan prematurely runs off from James Derkiss's rejection of his audition, he's shown walking slowly, head completely down, set to the song "Christmas Time Is Here" from Charlie Brown. Arrested Development did the same thing multiple times in one episode, which was funny (notice the dog on top of the red dog house, a reference to the reference the show is referencing). The most terrible bit of filmmaking in this episode was in that sequence of events, which saw Jordan put on a leather jacket and gloves before heading out to the audition, only to not be wearing them in the next scene when he arrives late, only to be wearing them again when he gets back home. He had no place to store those things. The Derkiss wears a messenger bag, that's his thing. Jordan had to have thrown his jacket and gloves in a ditch and then pick them back up on the way home by that logic. I really don't know why this sort of mistake was allowed. HTLBL has let things slip time and time again, but nothing this blatant. It's just odd.

Speaking of James Derkiss, that's a fun character, and I'm not just saying that because I am the man who plays him. James Derkiss is a villain, and when was the last time the show had some direct adversity from a villain-type character? Off the top of my head, I'm going to say never. I could be wrong, but this is the closest thing to a Big Bad that the show has ever had, even if Jordan the character doesn't quite realize it yet. It's fun to watch my early portrayal of the Derkiss, because as of now...well I'm not going to spoil anything. Season three premieres soon and you'll see soon enough that the Derkiss you just saw is only the beginning. I remember Zach telling me that my character was originally slated to be played by someone else and was certainly never supposed to take on the life it has, which is everything that happens in this finale. Hell, I'm not sure this finale was ever supposed to be what it was, but don't you just love happy accidents? They seem to be quite common in this line of work, and I don't think the medium could ever survive without them. I really wish I could expound more on what the character of James Derkiss is going to be rather than what he brings to the table, but you definitely know he's going to be back for the season three premiere so I can talk a little about it more. I'm just glad that he's able to create some actual conflict in this world where most of the conflict is created between Mike and Jordan, by Mike and Jordan. Outside forces are great for shaking things up, especially when you're heading into your final season. The final season of Eureka initially dealt with reclaiming lost characters who where seemingly kidnapped on a super important space venture that was built up over the entirety of the the previous season. It really felt final, like things were completely and fully coming to an end. With this finale, the tone for the final season could definitely be set, even if the problem at hand is resolved in the first episode. That's all they need to do though, set a tone. It's awful when the final season of a show starts and it feels same 'ol, same 'ol. There's no sense of urgency now that the show's days are numbered. The final seasons of Dexter and Burn Notice felt that way for at least 3/4ths of their respective seasons before they finally kicked their asses in gear and realized they needed to give us a satisfying end. Burn Notice did, Dexter didn't, but that's a discussion for another time.

If you want the short version of this review, this was a grand episode. It had great elements to it, good pacing, and most importantly, a reason to tune in for what happens next. I'm very excited for you to see how the show goes from here, because there is still gold left in this stream. After the series concludes this December, when you're looking for a point when How To Live A Better Life grew up, learned from its mistakes, reached its near-final form and got ready to send its viewers on a ride, you can look no farther than here. Expect more typical antics next season, but this time, the show isn't playing around. It's all coming to an end, and it's all because of the Derkiss.

Stray Observations:

• The song Jordan plays at the beginning of the episode should be the theme song for next season.
• I modeled James Derkiss's voice after the lovely Ron Howard, who was the narrator for none other than Arrested Development.
• I still can't get over that damn jacket goof
• Lol @ Derkiss's hate for British people, even though it isn't outwardly stated
• I haven't heard "Right on, right off" in a long time
• They addressed the camera for the third straight episode!
• Jordan doesn't want to star in a movie that will make him famous because his show doesn't have any fans. That's a little backwards logic, isn't it?
• "That was like two days of food!"
• Jordan's bathroom diaries being filmed with a night vision filter during the middle of the day is hilarious
• "Hey, I might have a dog role for you later!" - James Derkiss to a dog
• Ryan Sylvan is auditioning to be the door people walk through to enter the theater.
• "I just really see something in Jordan for this role; a mafia cleanup man for toddlers."
• That final sequence, with the music, the callbacks, and the entire gravity of the situation, it's really well done. I love how Zach decided to make an actual credit roll at the end so the song could play all the way through. It really helps everything sink in. This is what I'm talking about when if you're going to threaten to change a show as we know it, you have to make us actually think it's going to happen.

Overall Episode Grade: A

  

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 13: "Jordan Goes To The Dentist"

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How nice. I make a request for the show to grow a little and look what we have here: an intro that matches the actual plot of the episode! Is there such a thing as retroactive wish-fulfillment? Probably not, but this an example of exactly that.

In this edition of How To Live A Better Life, Jordan goes to the dentist, after Mike notices just how terrible his breath is. The episode begins with Mike blasting the season one theme song (The Authority Song by Jimmy Eat World) out his phone speaker, a practice that should be punished by death. Jordan tells him that he never wants to hear that song anymore, and Mike obliges. It's an obvious wink to the audience that had seen season one, probably about 5% of the viewers, but it's not heavy-handed or forced, so I'll allow it! Jordan then realizes that he needs to tell Mike a secret, and decides that even though they are the only two in the room aside from the camera crew, he needs to get uncomfortably close to Mike to tell his secret. I guess he had to do it,  because that's how Mike gets wind (pun intended) of Jordan's bad breath, and learns that he has not been to the dentist in over three years. I guess that's bad, but if you just keep a healthy schedule of brushing and flossing you should be fine. Of course, you're going to miss out on the x-ray scans of your mouth and the deep, powerhouse cleaning that comes with visiting the dentist, but hey it's not the end of the world, Mike. Though Jordan does wear braces, so that would give dentist visits a bit higher priority. Also, if Jordan's breath is as bad as Mike's reaction to it suggests, how has he not noticed it sooner? I don't even have to be in kissing distance of some of my friends whilst talking to them when I get a big blast of their cock breath. Just wondering, Mike, just wondering.

Speaking of getting uncomfortably close, the cameraman gets right up in Mike's grill when he's calling the dentist, Dr. Smiley, to set up an appointment for Jordan. The camera even smacks the top of the phone at one point, and you can hear the cameraman making all his little sounds. It's just odd, and unprofessional to see stuff like that, especially when this kind of stuff litters the season in small doses. You can explain it away using the "documentary" excuse for this show, but we all know how faithful the creators are to sticking to that mantra. Just re-shoot the scene. That's all that needs to be done.

Mike gets Jordan ready to go and NOPE Jordan slips out the door and runs away in a slow motion action scene. Jordan is doing his best rendition of movie running, where the actor is supposed to be running in a scene, but can't run faster than the camera, so he/she curbs their speed and they just look awkward. It's extremely noticeable, even in slow motion. My advice: if your scene calls for running, commit to it. Devise a shot that allows your actor to run full force without having to hold back. Buy/build a rig that will steady your camera. Never do a shot that won't allow your cameraman to run at full speed if they have to. It may be tough, but tough shots call for creative solutions, and that's just a nice side effect to your problem solving: you'll have a cool-looking shot. What's odd is that Mike is shown still back at the front door as Jordan is running down the street, but the next shot puts him right within arm's reach. Slo-mo or not, Mike would have had to cover the same distance in 1/4 the time Jordan did. That's just poorly-conceived filmmaking.

But now we're past that, and Jordan comes home a new man. You can tell he has grown up because he talks with a flat, unwavering tone, and addresses Mike by "Michael". How To Live A Better Life often fuels its characters and events through stereotypes and misconceptions, and that is what's happening here. Mike doesn't like this new Jordan, and decides to get his pal back to normal by giving him a chip (?), telling him a joke, and having him flex his acting muscles by reading a script Mike wrote with him. Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure that is a real script Zach and Jordan wrote themselves, which was set up to be a How To Live A Better Life movie. I read through what they had wrote with them about a year ago. The plot includes Mike and Jordan going to a big city and getting targeted by the mob. No, I am not kidding.

Mike plays one last trick by telling Jordan he needs to go back to the dentist so he can get back to his old self, and in an action that brings the entire episode full-circle, Jordan busts out the door this time declaring he's not going back, trips on himself, and hits his head on the ground. First off, Jordan lands in a way different position than how he tripped would have had him land, and secondly, he so very purposely taps his head on the ground, quite gingerly. Okay, obviously you don't want to actually slam your head on asphalt to make it look real, and I do realize it is very hard to fake it and make it look real. I won't detriment the show for at least trying to cover it up through the use of slow motion (again), but it's just one of those things that when you see it you can't help but cry foul. I would offer more advice but even I need to figure out a way to properly fake it. I am not perfect, sadly.

This head-banging somehow knocks the Jordan back in Jordan, because when Mike gets up to him he's back to his old self. "I'm back, baby!" is the last line of the episode as it ends. This show is funny, because it will immediately cut to another scene when the previous one probably needs a little more time to fully show everything, and will linger on a scene that absolutely does not as much time as the show is giving it. It's a backwards way of doing things, but at least it's not the norm.

Stray Observations:

• We did it! We're out of the forgettable patch! Next stop, The Derkiss.
• For the second straight episode, the main characters address the camera.
• The second slo-mo sequence had a cool shot in Jordan running through that big puddle.
• Jordan decides to sell his DVDs because they are childish. That's right, entertainment, in any form is a kids game. You've got to be all work and no play if you want to be something as vague as a "businessman"
• Selling the dog will do it too, good thinking Jordan.
• Dr. Smiley's voice sounds suspiciously like Ryan Cage.

Overall episode grade: B+

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 11: "Jordan's Big Twin Brother" Review

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So there's four episodes left this season, and excluding the finale, with this episode we've hit the forgettable patch of the season. I'm not saying it's bad, it's just that I had a hard time retaining this episode, as well as the ones that come after it ("Puberty" and "Jordan Goes To The Dentist"). How To Live A Better Life, as I have explained before, lives and breathes on self-contained concept episodes. It just so happens that there's three particularly unmemorable ones in a row before we get to the absolutely ball-dropping "The Derkiss". 

I guess this episode is of note because we see the return of Gordon, Jordan's big twin brother (that sounds familiar). Gordon makes the journey up to Jordan's house to tell him that his Uncle Remus died, and then promptly leaves. If that was all he was there for, couldn't he have just called? He mentions that he'll be in town for the next couple of days so I assume he has other engagements but still, what a waste of a trip. Still, it was good to see you, Gordon.

Jordan doesn't want Gordon to go without some quality catch-up time spent together, so Gordon invites him to go fishing. Once Jordan gets back, he's very noticeably sauced, and a Mountain Dew bottle falls out of his shirt ("I'm holding that for a friend!"). This fires up Mike, and he has a heated discussion with Gordon about Jordan's boundaries, which in turn fires up Gordon, and in a major case of foreshadowing, Gordon threatens to take Jordan away from Jordan's own house. Makes little sense, but it's funny seeing Jordan reduced to a child while his brother and his British counterpart have an unofficial custody battle (How old is Jordan? Where are his and Gordon's parents?), which throws Jordan in the middle of a decision between the two. He decides on secret option C: Run away, but Mike and Gordon are waiting outside his house as if they knew he would do that, so Jordan has to make a decision. Who does he choose? Who? WHO? Well Mike of course. I guess one reason why this episode isn't particularly memorable to me is that the situation carries no real consequence or weight to it. I know, this is a comedy, but if someone is threatening to remove a central character from a show and mix things up, at least put some effort into making us think that it could be a possibility, if only for an episode. It's funny to say this now (post-season two finale) because the consequences and weight that are missing from this episode are ever so apparent in the season finale, and it's pretty much the exact same situation too. It's probably because it's the season finale, but this episode just feels like a test for what's to come. And boy, what's coming is good.

Stray Observations:

• There were about 4 really clean, loud slaps to Mike's body this episode. It's almost like he was wearing some baby oil.
• The distinction between the Gordon and Jordan characters was really well played by Jordan, be it a simple one.
• Mike looking at a sleeping Jordan: "I should take advantage of this!" 
• Unofficial awkward cut counter: 3
• Gratuitous zoom on Mike's mouth? Check. 
• The universal way to distinguish between twins is that they're always wearing different shirts.
• Gordon's wearing his shoes on the bed. Ugh, barbarian.
• Those twin shots look good. I wonder who taught them that?
• Overall Episode Grade: B

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 4: "Do The Dew" Review

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Early on in a series, you've got to establish whether or not it's going to be a plot-driven show or a character-driven show. The Walking Dead? Plot driven. Six Feet Under? Character driven. Breaking Bad? It's a mixture of both, but leans more towards the plot. With this episode, (and basically all of season one, but I like to use this one as an example) How To Live A Better Life really shows that it is almost purely about the characters. The fact that an entire episode can be sustained with only Mike, Jordan, and bottle of Mountain Dew without getting boring is a testament to the development of the main characters and "writing" on this show. It keeps things interesting by never letting you guess what's going to happen next. How To Live A Better Life is a lot of things, but "predictable" is not one of them.

With the exception of the intro, this episode takes place entirely in Jordan's basement. So, a bottle episode. Except for the intro, which wasn't too bad. Mike and Jordan are about to watch a movie, and Mike asks Jordan why he enjoys Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb. Jordan gives an honest opinion of it, which reflects real-life Jordan Ross's affinity for cinema. I think Jordan just had to show off his movie knowledge somehow, and this was it. Mike then asks about Pulp Fiction. In a complete comical 180, Jordan says he thought it was about orange juice, and he really likes orange juice. End scene. Other fruits have pulp, guys! Help put an end to stereotyping. One thing I noticed in this scene was that two 2-liters of Mountain Dew were totally sitting on the bed next to Mike. Foreshadowing, or a mistake? You decide. You know what? I'd love it if the show actually foreshadowed what the episode was going to be about in the cold open. Especially if it's a cold open that has nothing to do with the rest of the episode, as many sitcoms like to do. I can't say I'm a huge fan of this practice, and maybe it's just because I got into tv through serialized, one-hour dramas. They just feel out of place, and adding an extra detail or two could ground it a little more. Of course, that would require planning, and there's not a whole lot of that on this show (at least until season 3).

The episode picks up on Jordan finding Mike in his basement after a hard day of...something. Jordan needs to turn to a vice to relax, so he whips out some Mountain Dew, of course. Against Mike's wishes, he gets thrashed, and Mike is forced to take care of him until the next day. Hungover Jordan jumps up out of bed and heads straight to the fridge for more Dew, because that's the best way to handle a Dew-related hangover. If the characters were about 10 years older and Mountain Dew was replaced with some sort of hard liquor, this episode would have been much much sadder. However, that's not the case. Jordan wonders how he's ever going to kick this addiction, and leave it up to Mike to come up with a foolproof plan. He thinks that they should just binge on it all day, in the hopes that its effect wears off and they get sick of it. Genius! Fight fire with fire, especially when dealing with crippling addiction. This public service announcement brought to you straight from JZ Productions.

So what follows next is them doing exactly that. Mike apparently is a heavy drinker, so it also becomes kind of a competition between the two, which is even worse. Had it not be so euphemised (which isn't a real word, why?), this would be straight black comedy at this point. I have no problem with black comedy, I love it, but that doesn't mean I can't recognize how goddamn awful and sad the subject is. It's hilarious! I love the montage that secedes them both going in together. The characters are bonding! It all leads up to them both completely sauced, and Mike lets it slip his evil plan about essentially ruining Jordan's life with this documentary. Also, he's not British! Plot twist! Jordan flips out, but he's drunk, so when they both wake up the next day, he doesn't remember any of it. So ends the episode.

Now, this is a HUGE revelation. The entire first season and first three episodes of this season have all been some clever ruse by Mike! Is How To Live A Better Life Actually this scripted out? Or did they just pull that one right out of their ass? It's most likely the latter, because as of now (post-season two finale), that plot point has not been revisited, at least in a serious form. I don't remember how the creators are planning to deal with this, probably by hanging a lampshade on it, but when they do, the show could be changed forever. I say "could" because knowing this show, calling a short amount of attention to it and just moving on might just be the right way to deal with it. We don't need ball-busting drama. This is How To Live A Better Life. We want terrible intro and end scenes.

Stray Observations:

• What kind of addict still keeps a bottle of temptation in his home after he tried to kick it? That's just playing with fire.
• This was quite literally a bottle episode. Think about it.
• Those shot glasses are wicked.
• "It's like an after schoo' special!"
• Mike dragging drunk Jordan to bed: "I feel like a teenage mom!"
• "To the top, Jordan!"
• I really liked the music used for the montage. It was a really nice moment for the characters, dark themes be damned.
• lol @ Jordan's muffled scream trying to keep up with Mike's drinking skill
• Why exactly does Mike want to ruin Jordan's life?
• Overall Episode Grade: B

      

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 3: "Stuck With Me" Review

Watch The Episode Here

Back into the past we go! I missed my opportunity to review the backlog of this season last week, so it's this episode and "Do The Dew" next week, and then we'll be allllll caught up.

So here we are, three episodes into season two, and a lot of the show's future is riding on this episode. Why? Well "Home Is Where The Home Is" sucked, and "The Pool Master" was a good rebound, so in terms of quality, this season has averaged out. So if we get a good episode here, that's two for three. If it's bad, then it's just one, and that is not a good sign this early on.

Being what it is (a that show is completely unpredictable), I only think "Of-freaking-course" when I find out that this episode was pretty average. Nothing stood out, either good or bad. It was vanilla. Milquetoast. Bare bones How To Live A Better Life. If I had a complaint, it would be with the story, which we'll get into right..........................now:

In the intro that actually pertained to the story, Mike gets a call and is invited to a British Convention, because those exist. He gets understandably excited, and goes up to pack. In the midst of getting everything together, he can't find his British identification card, only to find out that Jordan (who was hiding in his closet) ate it thinking it was food. I left out a couple details there to purposefully confuse you.

Despite this setback, Mike gets all ready to leave immediately. Not five minutes after he gets that call, and he's gone. Do British Conventions invite people on extremely short notice? That's needlessly stressful. Before he gets to leave, Ryan Sylvan shows up at his front door, lost. So Mike invites him in, and he promptly leaves. He didn't even say goodbye to Jordan. Also, he never filled Ryan in on his situation either. He just yelled "British Convention!" and left out the garage door. So does he just trust his nephew all by himself for god knows how long he'll be gone? With Jordan? What is it about these British Conventions that makes people drop everything and focus all of their time and energy on getting there? Listen up, government. If you ever want to control an entire population, get some of what those British people have. It's working.

So, hence the title, Jordan finds out that he is stuck with Ryan, whom he hates. Because of some back story that was established in season one. Jordan wants to leave, but before Mike left, he armed his home security system so no one would break in while he's gone. Ryan tells Jordan this, and for some reason, that means they can't leave. Do they have any idea how alarm systems work? Who in their right mind would purchase a device that served to imprison you in your own home? Who would make that? HTLBL is set in a fantasy world.

So all they can do is sit and wait. Through montage. A montage that would have worked better if they made the camera stationary. You'd know what I mean if you saw it. Did you? Are you reading these reviews without watching the episodes, so you can tell yourself (and Zach and Jordan) that you watched them? You're cheating. 

Jordan can't take it anymore, and has a heart-to-heart with Ryan. This seems like the purpose for the episode, and they seem to be able to further their relationship to "tolerant of one another". Right after this, Ryan looks at the same security device from earlier and suddenly recognizes the model by name. Wait. So Ryan, if you have an intricate knowledge of security systems, specifically how to disarm them, then why did it take you THIS LONG to identify what model that one is? Why did you not mention that you knew even the slightest bit about them when Jordan wanted to leave? One could argue that he never got a good look at it, but he had been sitting on that couch directly facing the wall the device is installed on for the entire episode, so there is absolutely no reason why he wouldn't have figured out what it was earlier. It does not make sense.

They disarm it, and go into the garage. You guys couldn't go out the front door? No? The garage door is closed, so know they have to figure out how to open it. Since when did Jordan and Ryan become toddlers? This is common knowledge! Eventually, Ryan opens the thing, and they are "free". They run out from under the door and into the pitch black oblivion.

Only to be called back by Mike, who for some reason hasn't left yet. He explains that it's only been ten minutes. Okay whoa whoa whoa slow down; So at the beginning of the episode, Mike is in this EXTREME hurry to leave, only to dick around on the front porch for a solid seven minutes? What could he be possibly doing out there that he couldn't do inside? Masturbate? This entire episode has been made up entirely of conflicting plot lines and manufactured drama, and frankly, it's absolutely ridiculous. For shame, HTLBL, for shame.

This episode was pretty well made, too, which only makes the story problems stand out even more. Come on. It's like they're making this up as they film it. Wait, they are? Time to abandon that tactic, guys, and soon.

Stray Observations:

• Bring your comments to the comment section.
• This episode's ending was abrupt, so there's that too.
• The first shot of the episode was well-placed. There was a lot of nice cinematography in this. Too bad the story can't keep up.
• "Have you at least seen my British ID card? It's got a picture of my face on it and some crumpets?"
• Ryan is so deliciously deadpan. 
• Ryan is also revealed to be a big softie.
• This was a short episode. Just a little over seven minutes, minus the bloopers.
• Overall Episode Grade: C

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 8: "The Fight" Review

Watch The Episode Here

One thing about this show; it's definitely improving. It's pretty much a universal rule that the more you do something, the better you get at it. Compare this episode to the very first episode of the series, hell even the first episode of this season, and you will be able to tell that the They-Know-What-They're-Doing Meter is raising bit by bit. However, this really only applies to the technical aspects of the show, which is great in itself. As for the story element, the show is really spinning its wheels.

This week focused on Jordan preparing himself for the most easily-provoked fight in recent memory, but it doesn't happen right away. You know what though? The intro this week was actually related to the main story! Wow! It wasn't anything particularly special, but wow! Evolution! This show is evolving!

We are reunited with Hot Girl in this episode, who last appeared in season one, episode nine "Hot Girl". She's dating some douche (new guest star Ben Watson) now, proving that Hot Girl is a glutton for dating abuse. What's weird is that she's aware that she's being mistreated, yet stays with Ben for some reason. She did the same thing with Jordan on their date last season. And she even acts like she likes Jordan in this episode! Somebody help this girl. I think she's got some deep-rooted problems she needs to work through.

On the main cast side of the show, Mike shows up to Jordan's house with a sack full of groceries (read: ice cream). He's spending so much time over there that he thinks that's his house now. D'aww, Mike. I think he has some issues too. Probably something related to not being able to handle being on his own. There are people like that. It makes sense, actually, Mike Sylvan is mentally ill.

Jordan overhears the ice cream truck driving by, and goes out to find it, not knowing that Mike just got some. But who wants the processed ice cream? Not Jordan! He wants somethings that was just handled by a closeted sex offender! So off he goes. He doesn't find the truck, sadly, but runs into Hot Girl and her douche boyfriend Ben. Jordan calls Hot Girl by "Hot Girl" because that's all he knows her by, and this offends Douche Ben. He then calls Jordan by "Bucko" because he's a douche and tells him "5 O'CLOCK. SCHOOL PARKING LOT. BE THERE." What's funny is that the parking lot they eventually have their confrontation is a church parking lot. The school one is a bit more to the right. BUT WHATEVER Jordan never obliges to the fight, but he goes home and tells Mike that this is happening anyway.

Thing is, Jordan's never been in a fight. So Mike agrees to help train Jordan, because apparently he's got experience. Eleven fights he claims to have been in. Whatever, Mike. Allowing someone to wail on you because you're a defenseless little turd isn't a fight. Thankfully, they don't throw a montage in here, because, well, that'd be lazy. Plus, we've already had one of those in "The Pool Master".

After Jordan seems to be ready. He completely by chance catches an after-school special on tv, telling him that violence is bad. Whatever, man. Jordan's mind is made up! He's gonna gat that kid! Y0LO $$WAG FIIIIISHHHH

But the message gets to him, and he throws the fight. Cool.

This episode was pretty alright. And by "pretty alright" I mean, "I also had problems with this episode, as with all of them". I'm in the mood to list things right now, so I'm going to do that.

1. The "I think you should go and make me a sandwich" line was terrible. Lines like that are awful. Not because they're sexist, but because they are NEVER FUNNY. If the character is sexist, give them sexist things to say. But NEVER give them lines like that. Anything with women and kitchens is off-limits because they are bad. Really bad. 
2. Here's something that really urked me: When Ben started doing pull ups on the tree branch, he kicked the camera, and the shot kept going. Seriously! They did not re-shoot that! And it's not like nobody noticed it during filming, because there was a real human being holding that camera. What's even worse, is when I first watched this episode with Zach and Jordan, they did not seem to notice and/or care until I pointed it out. How in the hell do you not notice something like that?
3. Lastly, and you know it's coming, the ending to this episode was lackluster. Mainly because Mike just decided to drop his British accent altogether and go full native-Midwestern on us. Jordan didn't notice, but I sure did. I know, in "Do The Dew" Mike reveals that he's not actually British, but don't do stuff like that and not call some sort of attention to it. It looks more like a mistake rather than a subtle nod when you completely downplay it into oblivion.

All of that being said, I think mechanics-wise, this was a strong episode. It was the last episode filmed for season two, so the culmination the guys' experience from the past 23 episodes is put into this one, and it shows. The plot is split up between characters, so the pacing is better. There are less awkward cuts (but still a bunch) and more fluid shots. The characterization of Mike and Jordan is top-notch at this point. If they pay more attention to detail when filming and stop making weird/dumb decisions with the stories (which would include them making PROPER endings), I think season three can be something special. Like, really good. The best stuff they've ever done. Once they stop running in place, they only way to go is up.

Stray Observations:

• Comments?
• HTLBL Fun Fact: This episode was originally titled "Get The Girl". I like that title better.
• Is "Not in my calendar." A reference to something? Jordan and his movie references.
• The sound effects were well chosen in this episode. The ice cream truck sounded like it was really outside, the shower sounded like it was really on in an enclosed space, and even the Mortal Kombat game kind of correlated to what was happening in the scene. Good editing, Zach.
• Speaking of, is the Super Nintendo just a regular Super Nintendo when it's not being a dream machine? Or are we going to act like that episode never happened? Damn you guys.
• Ben Watson really phoned it in this episode. I even talked to him today and he agreed that that was the worst acting he's ever done.
• Ben still kicked that camera. Jesus Christ.
• The flashback to "Hot Girl" was nice, but a little too long. The part with Mike was unnecessary.
• Haha, America bandana.
• Mike losing control of himself around Hot Girl is always funny.
• Overall Episode Grade: B- 

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 7: "Jordan's Commercial" Review

Watch The Episode Here

Man, this was a solid episode. Especially for Jordan. Anyone who knows the impeccable Jordan Ross personally knows that he is a major film buff, and just kind of exudes that classic "director" look. He essentially plays a heightened version of himself on the show, so it's only natural for him to give a great performance when an episode like this comes along. It is the new best episode of the season so far, even with its two glaring flaws. "Jordan's Commercial", at this point in the show's life, is pretty much the best episode of the series.

As I just mentioned, there are some problems with this episode. It's no surprise, really. The flaws are stuff that the show constantly struggles with, so I guess they aren't as big as they ought to be, because we are used to them at this point. However, I'm going to keep pointing them out as long as they keep popping up.

I normally don't mention the intro to an episode in the main review, but I need to say something. This is flaw number one of the episode: the intro just falls flat. Every single time, the intro falls flat. This one was super flat. It involved a way-too-long conversation with Jordan talking to Mike about how he didn't get a part in the play he auditioned for. They rambled, and then started wondering if what they were doing would be considered an intro or not. I know that the show is supposed to be a documentary, so that would allow the characters to go meta and reference their own show, but look at the previous episodes. "Jordan's Dream", anyone? If the show itself doesn't follow documentary rules, then it's just weird when it suddenly decides to remind you that, "Hey! This is all supposed to appear like it's non-fiction, even though it totally is!" It's hard to explain what I'm getting at here, so I'm going to try to make it as clear as possible:

A fictional show about a non-fictional documentary likes to take on stories that are completely and totally fiction. So when it decides to revert back to the non-fictional documentary aspect of the show, it throws you off. 

That's about as clear as I can make it. If it still doesn't make sense, then the show definitely has a flaw it needs to address.

But wait, didn't I say that this was the best episode of the series so far? I did! The intro would have you thinking differently, but I swear, there's some good stuff here. 

The episode begins with Jordan answering Mike's phone. On the other end is a production company who are trying to reach Mike to tell him that they want him to make a commercial for an anti-depressant pill. Mike isn't anywhere to be found, so Jordan offers to do the commercial for him. The company agrees. What kind of irresponsible production studio is this? They just give multi-thousand/million dollar projects to total strangers? Can I have their number? They won't be disappointed with what I can do for them. Well, they might.

Mike comes back to Jordan's house to retrieve his phone, only to find out the news. He obviously isn't happy about it, but Jordan doesn't care. He's got some film to study! For a 30-second commercial? *crosses arms* Typical Jordan! The next day, Mike is still mad, so he calls up his nephew Ryan Sylvan to help him make his own commercial for the drug. Ryan shows up, and we have a guest star! Hooray!

However, Jordan is ready to make the commercial now, so he steps out with his slicked back hair, sunglasses, and toilet paper roll viewfinder, ready to commit some footage. Mike explains that he was going to do the commercial behind Jordan's back, but Jordan just shoves him out of the way and takes over the project. Mike gives up, just like that. What I would have liked to see happen next would be a competition between both Mike and Jordan to see who can make the better commercial, with both of them starring Ryan. I think some funny stuff could come out of that. Mike doesn't decide to do that. He decides that if he can't make the commercial, he's going to make sure Jordan can't either through SABOTAAAAGE courtesy of the Beastie Boys.

This is enjoyable too, so I'm not really mad about them not going the route I wanted the episode to go, the bastards. What really makes this sequence is that every time Mike does something to derail the shoot, the actual "SABOTAAAAGE" sound bite from the song plays. It's not overused, so every time it comes up it produces a laugh.

Jordan quickly finds out that Mike is behind all of this, and confronts him. Mike tries to run away, but all Jordan wanted to tell him is that Mike is the star! So, the three collaborate together to make the commercial, and the end result is a commercial that's actually good by fake commercial standards. Seriously, it's fun.

Mike and Ryan don't feel that way though (They have no taste), and after the initial screening of the final product, they let Jordan know. Jordan disagrees, and goes to call the producers to see what they think. 

Here comes flaw #2: The ending. Of course! It wouldn't be an episode of How To Live A Better Life without a abrupt/bad/nonsensical ending! This one falls into the third category. When Jordan calls the production company, they tell him that the project has been given to someone else. Seriously, the work that they are doing is sloppy as all hell. Jesus, is it the zoo? Are elephants the producers? This wouldn't be SO bad, except for that the person they gave it to is Mike. Again. I guess, in a way, it makes sense, seeing that Mike is the person they originally wanted to do it, but what? Were they just humoring Jordan when he offered to do it, then when he finished the thing, they realized "Oh crap this kid was actually serious! Somebody call Mike Sylvan again!" You just wasted a dickload of money, Zoo Production Company. May you go out of business soon.

Despite the two bad bad things that book-ended the episode, everything in the middle was quite good. More than good, actually, it was great. The story was well-paced, and never got hung up on some weird joke or sequence. The jokes didn't come rapid fire like in some episodes, but were steadily flowing, and almost all of them were pretty funny. Most of the time you get a short "Huh!" laugh out the show's jokes, but in this episode, there were some deep, belly laughs waiting to be had. That's successful humor. I can only think of one other episode that has the same kind of joke repertoire going on, but it hasn't been released yet, so I'll just hush about it.

Stray Observations:

• Comments. Leave them.
• Mike wears that damn Nirvana hoodie for 90% of the episode, and 100% of the time he's wearing it he has his hands in the pockets. Even whilst running. Stop.
• I finally figured out why Mike openly narrates everything: The show is a documentary, so he's just talking to the cameraman! Of course!
• Toilet paper roll viewfinder.
• I really enjoy Ryan Cage's presence.
• Gratuitous zoom in on Mike's mouth? Check.
• The tissue in the camera lens is so ridiculously juvenile that it's hilarious.
• After Jordan explains that the toilet paper roll around his neck is a viewfinder, the cutaway to an actual viewfinder was very Arrested Development-esque. It was just missing some sort of music or sound effect.
• "I can't work with this!"
• Ah, the classic, "Taking your incredibly small role too seriously" gag. Works every time.
• Seriously, that commercial is great. "Haperal" is a good fake drug name.
• Overall Episode Grade: A-

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 2: "The Pool Master" Review

Watch The Episode Here

I'm not even going to waste time coming up with an intro to this review. I'll just ask it now: How in the hell are we ever going to recover from "Home Is Where The Home Is"? Seriously? How? Is this the death of HTLBL as we know it? Fortunately, no it's not. "The Pool Master" is actually a normal episode of the show. Nothing spectacular, it's run-of-the-mill by its own standards, but this is the first time we get a tried and true Mike and Jordan episode mixed with the snazzy new direction and production quality of the new season. The result is what we've all been waiting for.

The first season of the show isn't bad, you can just tell that there wasn't much artistic expression when it came to the cinematography, dialogue, and other technical aspects of the show. It was more concerned with getting you used to its universe, and that's perfectly fine. Now that the guys know what they're doing with this new season, it's time to expect some tastefully framed scenes. You can really tell in this episode what shots they tried to make artsy. It's a mixed bag. Some of it looks alright, and some of it looks artsy for the sake of being artsy. There's nothing wrong with adding a little flair to your work, but when a traditional camera angle is the best option, use it. Don't try and force an artsy angle in places where it won't work. People will begin to call you pretentious.

The episode opens up with Mike going totally Zen on the pool table. Jordan comes down to find him this way, and Mike explains that he has a pool tournament coming up, so he needs to "study". He needed to "become the pool table". Why, Mike? Because you like balls being knocked around all over your body? HAHAHAHAHAHA Me: 1 You: 0

Jordan brags about how good he is at pool, and challenges Mike to a game. Mike accepts. I don't know why, but people claiming to be experts in topics they know nothing about, then having to demonstrate their "skills" or lack thereof is always funny to me. Mike is doing exactly this. He doesn't rack the 8-ball in the middle, and Jordan calls him out on it, only for Mike to turn it right back around on him and say that that was a test. Simple humor, but it works every time. No clue why.

Mike also goes to grab a "pooly stick", and as he is about to get the green one, Jordan stops him cold with a, "THAT'S.........MINE." Followed by a dramatic zoom on Mike's face, and we are treated to this:

Tastefully shot!

Jordan makes a big deal about using that cue, and gives Mike a really short one. Very well then. Begin game.

Cue a montage of Mike blowing dicks and Jordan being a so-called "Pool Master". The music choice here was a nice touch. I don't know the name of the song, I just know that it's a nice touch. Mike, knowing that his bluff is blown, takes up Jordan's offer to be trained by the master. Cue yet ANOTHER montage, yet this one is a little less montage-y and a little more involved. Jordan has Mike do inane yet appropriate things like bench press a pool cue, and run while holding to pool balls. Is that what they're called? Pool balls?

This other montage is set to the cliche Rocky training music that's not "Eye Of The Tiger", a song whom's name I cannot remember. It still works here. Good choices for music this episode, guys. After it's over, Jordan feels that Mike is ready to take on that tournament. Cut to black.

I mentioned in the episode 6 review that this show can be really bad with its endings. Case in point: episode 6's ending. This ending is much better, actually. It's short, simple, but executed just right. Mike walks into Jordan's room the next day. Jordan asks how Mike did. Mike explains that he got last place. Jordan acknowledges Mike's statement. Mike leaves. The end. Endings like that can be ewww if they aren't delivered right by the actors, but thankfully Zach and Jordan pulled it off. This season is looking up.

Stray Observations:

• Again, leaving comments is encouraged! Do so!
• I will continue to not mention the intros in the review, unless they are something special. This intro featured Jordan acting like a dog. Eeeeeeeh
• I really hope a major character on the show dies by falling down Jordan's dangerous stairs. Series finale twist maybe???????????????
• First well-framed shot: Mike racking the pool balls. Pool balls? Someone please correct me.
•  "It's not the size of it that matters, it's the way you play pool with it."
• That laundry basket looks like it could really hinder Mike and Jordan's ability to break the pool balls.
• Seriously! Jordan's leaning on it! Somebody move the damn thing!
• Jordan talking to Mike off-camera only to realize when Mike comes on camera, he's looking in the wrong direction. Classic example of a sight gag that would never work in real life, but once you introduce a camera, it suddenly works and isn't weird at all.
• When Mike is running with the pool balls(?), he moves his body and opens his mouth in such a way that if you were to mute the episode and play a song from High School Musical, it would look like he's singing and dancing to it.
• So what's up with the bloopers being in a much lower resolution (and in episode 6's case, in a different aspect ratio) than the rest of the episode? 
• Overall Episode Grade: B

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 6: "Mike And Jordan Get Athletic" Review

Watch The Episode Here

Ah, a fresh episode of How To Live A Better Life. After the messy "Jordan's Dream", I would be slightly worried heading into the next episode, but judging by the title alone, "Mike And Jordan Get Athletic" feels like it's going to be a normal episode of the show. And by normal, I mean hilarious.

The episode is the best one of the season so far, beating out "The Pool Master" for that honor. Everything that "Jordan's Dream" did wrong, this episode does right, well, except for the ending. But we'll get to that later. "Get Athletic" throws a two-part story at you this time, as well as about 3,000 (hit-and-miss, mostly hit) jokes a minute. This is the HTLBL that I love. This is the kind of show that I should be writing about. From the intro to the bloopers, I was smiling. See, I told you the bad episodes were out of the way!

The episode follows Mike and Jordan wondering why exactly their dates didn't go the way they wanted. Jordan's date ended up in the hospital, and Mike made fun of his for being fat. Where did they go wrong? Jordan hypothesizes that maybe girls don't like them because they aren't athletic enough. So, the guys try out a range of sports in order to see which ones they're good at, which is approximately none of them. In fact, they don't know a single thing about sports, as evidenced by Mike picking up a football and throwing it right into Jordan's face, calling it "soccer". It's typical comedic ignorance, and it can be very funny. For example, about a week ago in my speech class, we were performing impromptu speeches based off of a random topic that you only have 30 seconds to prepare for. One guy got Vladimir Putin, and not knowing who he is, proceeded to tell the class that he was a vampire who needed to be "impeached" from "American Congress". That speech was absolutely hysterical, because Vladimir Putin is the prime minister of Russia. The first time he got it wrong, you could tell that he seriously didn't know who he was, but then he caught on, and started deliberately getting that one fact about Vladimir wrong. One might think that it would get old, but it only got funnier. Comedic ignorance can be hilarious when done right, and the entire sequence when Mike and Jordan try out different sports is pretty funny because of that.

But wait! That's not all! There's a B-story going on here! Well, it's more of a continuation. See, there's one more sport left to try, and that sport is basketball. Instead of playing against each other, Mike and Jordan join a pickup game at the local b-ball court. Two other guys are there, and accept the challenge. Best to three wins. What follows is the worst basketball game ever played, but it's also one of the funniest. I don't really want to get too much into detail for this sequence, because it's just better to watch than to analyze. All I'm saying here is; Mike's tendency to tie his shirt in a knot is worthy of an episode itself. 

All of this is great, and the episode is really well-paced all the way through. Jordan's final shot to win the game was a big "Yeah!" moment, and it's the right kind of hi-jinks that the show does so well with. One thing that the show needs to work on, however, is its endings. After the game, Mike and Jordan return home, full of pride from the win. They think that winning one poor game of basketball makes them instantly attractive, so they call up their previous dates to see if they want them back. Turns out, the girls have boyfriends, and Mike and Jordan were the ones who just approached them in the movie theater without warning. Mike shoots a look at the camera, and ends it Looney Tunes style, which is NOT OK. Not at all! I would have tolerated just a moment of silence as Mike and Jordan realize what they did, but no! Mike had to ruin it all with his stupid "Da da da duh da da!" Just, dear god no.

However, the little segment afterwards that introduced all the guest stars was amusing.

Still, what the hell, guys.

Stray Observations

• Please feel free to leave comments on this and all the other reviews. Your opinion on the episode is just as important as mine.
• This episode broke the record for most guest stars ever with Jake Kovacs, Daniel Lawrence, Bryce Flory, Trent Scifres, Justin Benjamin, and a special cameo by our very own Ryan Cage.
• Speaking of Ryan Cage: "Dinkleberg."
• This episode was very tastefully shot, by HTLBL standards. Examples: the first shot after the title sequence, and when Mike and Jordan were tossing the baseball around.
• Extremely outdated Michael Vick jokes are still funny.
• I didn't mention the intro in the review, as it didn't pertain to the episode story wise, but it was a good one. It even hints at the plot of next week's episode, hint hint.
• Revealing that the two gangstas were only playing with Mike and Jordan because they were happy that Mike and Jordan wanted to be around them was a nice touch.
• For every shot that either Mike or Jordan makes, Jake's pants fall lower and lower to the ground.
• Seriously, do people's pants just fall down when everything is going wrong for them?
• "Somebody call the fire department!"
• The one or two unruly guest stars could have ruined the entire basketball sequence, but instead only slightly ruined it. "I'm Batman." Seriously? Show some professionalism, guys.
• Jordan running away from Mike after he made the winning shot. El oh el man.
• Overall Episode Grade: B+

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 1: "Home Is Where The Home Is" Review

Watch The Episode Here

Confused? Well, if you paid any attention at all to the last review, I said I'd be going back and covering the previous four episodes that came out before these started getting written. That's what we're doing. So sit back and relax while I explain why "Home Is Where The Home Is" is a piss poor episode of How To Live A Better Life.

First off, those who have seen the first season of the show (which I also explained that I would review in due time) would know that it didn't set the world on fire, and it wasn't meant to.  It was just something that three friends made in their spare time because they loved doing it. I'm sure they were proud of themselves for actually finding the time to film 12 different episodes (10 released, 1 Christmas special, and 1 lost episode). They probably didn't care how it turned out. It's a hobby. I've made some awful stuff too, but I loved doing it. Criticism like this goes completely unwarranted when you're talking about personal projects, and it will definitely rustle a few jimmies when I actually do get around to reviewing the first season. I'm doing this purely for fun, as are the series creators Zach and Jordan with the show. However, even if I am doing this lightheartedly and am totally not trying to intentionally hate on the show, I have to do it right. People review episodes to highlight the good, and the bad. There is plenty of good in HTLBL, tons of it, but there is also bad, and I, as the reviewer have to provide an unbiased look on both. "Home Is Where The Home Is" is bad. It doesn't suck, it's just bad in the context that the show has itself built. What does that mean? Well, give me a second and I'll tell you. I just needed to make sure people understood what a review is supposed to do before they grab their torches and pitchforks and try to drive me out of Reviewtown.

I mean, it's not like people like this exist, right?

"You're just mad because they make better videos than you do." 

Yeah, shut the hell up. This is not a competition.

So, all of that being said, we now have to get to the episode. "Home Is Where The Home Is" is the season two premiere of this wonderful show. It opens up like the series premiere, pretty much shot for shot, which is a nice callback. The music playing over this sequence is the same song used in the intro for season one. Callbacks, aplenty! These are very welcome. Mike enters Jordan's house without knocking, and tries to recreate the entire first scene of the first episode (which would be the last callback I would allow for this episode), but doesn't see Jordan anywhere. No big deal, Mike will just check his room. Downstairs he goes, only to find that Jordan's room is completely deserted. Now here's some drama! This is looking to be like a suitable return for the show! Suddenly, Mike hears "Santeria" by Sublime in the background. That's a pretty significant song when you're talking about this show, so Mike obviously tries to find the culprit. He goes upstairs to find that it's Jordan playing the song, but in his new room. This shocks Mike for whatever reason. Jordan moved! Cue the new intro, which now features the song "The Science Of Selling Yourself Short" by Less Than Jake, and that is an awesome song. 

Jordan doesn't see the problem in moving rooms, but Mike is really taken aback by the decision. He explains that it was hard moving from Great Britain to America, and that he liked Jordan's place because it was the one place that stayed the same. He doesn't do well with change. Jesus, Mike, he changed rooms! You sound like a 13 year old girl looking for even the smallest reason to explain why she has "deep emotional problems" which is Teen Speak for "Chronic Attentionwhoreitis".

Jordan offers to take Mike to a place that never changes, and that place is the bowling alley. A HTLBL landmark, East Side Lanes has provided the location for not one, but TWO season one episodes. It's the place where Jordan "practically grew up". The thing is, they get there, and it's closed. One incredibly fake puke gag later, and Mike is promising to take Jordan to another magical place, which is also closed. In a last ditch effort to salvage the episode, Mike tells Jordan of one last special place they can go. They go, but it's just Jordan's room. Jordan is confused, so Mike explains to him (though looking directly at the camera, which is okay, this is a documentary, remember?) that....well....it's just better if I type it verbatim:

"It doesn't matter where you hang out, it's who you hang out with. It doesn't matter where your home is, it's who's in it."

Then Jordan stands next to Mike and puts his arm around him, then utters this Earth-shattering quote:

"In other words, uh, we were just too lazy to finish the episode."

Mike agrees, and they share a poorly-executed high-five. The episode ends there.



What the literal dick, show.



Remember in the episode 5 review when I said that none of this matters? It still doesn't! But let's keep pretending it does. You've been waiting patiently since last season's non-cliffhanger to see some new episodes of How To Live A Better Life. Finally, the day comes, and you're ready to see some more crazy Mike and Jordan hijinks. Then you watch this episode. Knowing all that you do about the show based off the first season, you wouldn't expect much, but you should understand that shows generally tend to evolve and get much better as they go on. Some don't. How To Live A Better Life totally does, but sweet Jesus not in this episode. It seems to be stuck between evolution and devolution, in that the cinematography is getting better, the camera and audio quality is better, and you can tell Zach and Jordan really know their characters well enough that dialogue is no problem for them to come up with. Yet it seemed to go lower than before with the story. There basically is none. Yeah, Jordan changed rooms and the bowling alley closed, but did you see how quickly those plot points were resolved? Excluding the bloopers, this episode clocks in at just a little over five minutes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that is by far the shortest episode of the series, and it's a season premiere! Whoever heard of a season premiere having less substance than later episodes? That's the exact opposite of what a season premiere is supposed to be! This is just bonkers.

I guess it's good that we get the bad stuff out of the way first so we can really truly enjoy other episodes of this show. I cannot stress this enough: I love this show. It has plenty of good to great episodes in both seasons. "Home Is Where The Home Is" is just not one of them. So now that we've gotten through the two bad seeds of the current season, let's set phasers to fun when we get to episode 2, and episode 6 when it releases Saturday. The worst part is over.

Stray Observations:

• Something to watch out for in this show: Zach Pruett (Mike) does a whole lot of growing up physically as the episodes go on. Seriously, the difference between him in episode one and in the season two finale is just nuts. That's only a year's difference, people.
• I've been told that this particular episode wasn't planned at all, it was just made because the guys were excited about the new camera. This review still stands, though.
• It sounds like Mike's accent is more pronounced in the earlier episodes. In later ones it's much more subdued.
• Mike openly narrates EVERYTHING
• "Santeria" is another awesome song, just saying.
• "I can't read?"
• Two random elements in this episode: Jordan sniffing his shoe, and where did those glasses come from?
• The song playing over the opening sequence made it feel like the beginning of a high school-based tv show.
• I really liked the blocking in the intial shot of Mike and Jordan walking up to the bowling alley.
• Enjoy those bloopers, people. Bloopers are never a bad thing.
• Overall Episode Grade: D-

How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 5: "Jordan's Dream" Review

Watch The Episode Here

First thing's first: welcome to the review! I will be providing my analysis of the almost-popular web series How To Live A Better Life for the remainder of this season, and subsequent ones that are sure to follow. I will go back and review the first four episodes of the season, and eventually I'll cover season one, but for the sake of being topical, the most recent release is a good place to start.

That being said, I find "Jordan's Dream" to be one of the weaker episodes of the season so far, only bested (worsted?) by "Home Is Where The Home Is", but I'll get to that review later.

I am always for sitcoms experimenting with alternate story lines, genres, and whatever gimmicks the writers can come up with over the course of a show. Especially broadcast sitcoms, as they tend to not be as serialized and will usually find themselves having to fill up 20-22 weeks worth of half hour episodes. Anybody who has ever tried to write an episodic series should know first hand that, unless you have story arcs pouring out your ears, trying to maintain a running story for that long is not easy at all. Hell, even keeping a story going for 10-13 episodes is a feat in itself. Since sitcoms usually don't have that problem with running stories, that means they will have to come up with several self-contained stories to fill all those extra episodes, and some may argue that's an even harder thing to do.

This season of How To Live A Better Life will be 14 episodes long, compared to last season's 10, and if you've been watching the show for long enough, you will know that this show lives and breathes on self-contained episodes. That's all that's been done so far. I know personally that there will be exceptions, but for now, it's entirely procedural. So when you look at "Jordan's Dream", you won't find anything different, but you will find that it's a bit lacking compared to a typical HTLBL episode.

In the episode, Mike finds Jordan fiddling around with a Super Nintendo, which is actually a dream machine. Jordan starts talking about the movie "Inception" and the device that they use to put everyone into the same dream. Mike dismisses him, as per usual, and walks out. Jordan, feeling discouraged, takes a nap using his powers to instantly fall asleep in any position.

Later, Mike is feeling bad about not taking Jordan seriously and goes to apologize, but finds Jordan asleep, so in a scene that involved waaaaay too much unnecessary narration by Mike, he decides to try the machine out. He wraps a controller around Jordan's arm, then his, and goes to sleep. What follows next is Mike realizing that he's in Jordan's dream, as evidenced by the four clones of Jordan in his living room (When clone #1 is explaining to Mike that Jordan dreams copies of himself, he mutters, "Arrogant, I know." in what sounded like a annoyed tone. If a clone of Jordan says that about what is essentially himself, does that mean that Original Jordan knows he's arrogant? If he does, and his clone didn't seem to approve of it, does he like being arrogant all the time? Can he help himself? Am I reading too much into this?) One of the clones decides to help Mike find Jordan because if the dream machine (Super Nintendo) shuts off while they're still dreaming, they'll be stuck in the dream world forever. Mike doesn't seem to care, but the clone tells him that he needs to finish How To Live a Better Life, so Mike springs into action.

They eventually find Jordan, perhaps too quickly, and Mike tells them about the situation. Here's where it gets confusing: When clone #1 leads Mike to Original Jordan, he suddenly disappears before he can tell Mike one important thing. Dramatic, yes, but ultimately pointless because we never find out what that thing was! Mike didn't seem to dwell on it much, rightfully so, because he needed Jordan to wake up, but why create that drama when it's never going to be resolved?

Whatever. Mike tries to get Jordan to go back, but Jordan doesn't want to. He hobbles away as their time limit reaches zero, and are presumably stuck in the dream world forever. Cut to Jordan waking up. He muses about how weird the dream is, then goes on a quest to find Mike, only to find four copies of him in the living room, the exact opposite of Jordan's dream. End episode.

So, they're stuck in the dream world now, right? So that means that next week's episode, and all future episodes will be from the dream world, right? The universe of How To Live A Better Life will be changed forever, right?

Ultimately, I feel like this does not matter at all. The next episode will chug right along as if none of this ever happened. A bit jarring, but hey, this is a sitcom, and they're allowed to do this type of stuff......right? 

Next time the show decides to go supernatural, let's hope for a clearer, more thoughtfully paced story. This one started out fine, but then just went off the rails there at the end. Again, none of it matters, I mean this is a show on the INTERNET, but come on, respect the fans (all 4 of them) enough and deliver something more than this.

Stray Observations:

• During the quest to find Jordan, Clone #1 and Mike stumbled across Ryan Sylvan in a cage! His real life name is Ryan Cage! DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST RYAN CAGE IN A CAGE
• "Wow, these stairs are safe in Jordan's dream." Yeah, right. Those stairs are deadly.
• Gratuitous zoom in on Mike Sylvan's mouth? Check.
• I love that in their world, there is a British version of Inception.
• "You mean the bumperdoodle?" "Yes, the bumperdoodle!"
• Jordan's delivery of "I gave you a dollar!" was perfect.
• Those shots with the clones look good! Guess what? I taught them how to do that!
• "...Dijon mustard."
• Overall Episode Grade: C-