Back into the past we go! I missed my opportunity to review the backlog of this season last week, so it's this episode and "Do The Dew" next week, and then we'll be allllll caught up.
So here we are, three episodes into season two, and a lot of the show's future is riding on this episode. Why? Well "Home Is Where The Home Is" sucked, and "The Pool Master" was a good rebound, so in terms of quality, this season has averaged out. So if we get a good episode here, that's two for three. If it's bad, then it's just one, and that is not a good sign this early on.
Being what it is (a that show is completely unpredictable), I only think "Of-freaking-course" when I find out that this episode was pretty average. Nothing stood out, either good or bad. It was vanilla. Milquetoast. Bare bones How To Live A Better Life. If I had a complaint, it would be with the story, which we'll get into right..........................now:
In the intro that actually pertained to the story, Mike gets a call and is invited to a British Convention, because those exist. He gets understandably excited, and goes up to pack. In the midst of getting everything together, he can't find his British identification card, only to find out that Jordan (who was hiding in his closet) ate it thinking it was food. I left out a couple details there to purposefully confuse you.
Despite this setback, Mike gets all ready to leave immediately. Not five minutes after he gets that call, and he's gone. Do British Conventions invite people on extremely short notice? That's needlessly stressful. Before he gets to leave, Ryan Sylvan shows up at his front door, lost. So Mike invites him in, and he promptly leaves. He didn't even say goodbye to Jordan. Also, he never filled Ryan in on his situation either. He just yelled "British Convention!" and left out the garage door. So does he just trust his nephew all by himself for god knows how long he'll be gone? With Jordan? What is it about these British Conventions that makes people drop everything and focus all of their time and energy on getting there? Listen up, government. If you ever want to control an entire population, get some of what those British people have. It's working.
So, hence the title, Jordan finds out that he is stuck with Ryan, whom he hates. Because of some back story that was established in season one. Jordan wants to leave, but before Mike left, he armed his home security system so no one would break in while he's gone. Ryan tells Jordan this, and for some reason, that means they can't leave. Do they have any idea how alarm systems work? Who in their right mind would purchase a device that served to imprison you in your own home? Who would make that? HTLBL is set in a fantasy world.
So all they can do is sit and wait. Through montage. A montage that would have worked better if they made the camera stationary. You'd know what I mean if you saw it. Did you? Are you reading these reviews without watching the episodes, so you can tell yourself (and Zach and Jordan) that you watched them? You're cheating.
Jordan can't take it anymore, and has a heart-to-heart with Ryan. This seems like the purpose for the episode, and they seem to be able to further their relationship to "tolerant of one another". Right after this, Ryan looks at the same security device from earlier and suddenly recognizes the model by name. Wait. So Ryan, if you have an intricate knowledge of security systems, specifically how to disarm them, then why did it take you THIS LONG to identify what model that one is? Why did you not mention that you knew even the slightest bit about them when Jordan wanted to leave? One could argue that he never got a good look at it, but he had been sitting on that couch directly facing the wall the device is installed on for the entire episode, so there is absolutely no reason why he wouldn't have figured out what it was earlier. It does not make sense.
They disarm it, and go into the garage. You guys couldn't go out the front door? No? The garage door is closed, so know they have to figure out how to open it. Since when did Jordan and Ryan become toddlers? This is common knowledge! Eventually, Ryan opens the thing, and they are "free". They run out from under the door and into the pitch black oblivion.
Only to be called back by Mike, who for some reason hasn't left yet. He explains that it's only been ten minutes. Okay whoa whoa whoa slow down; So at the beginning of the episode, Mike is in this EXTREME hurry to leave, only to dick around on the front porch for a solid seven minutes? What could he be possibly doing out there that he couldn't do inside? Masturbate? This entire episode has been made up entirely of conflicting plot lines and manufactured drama, and frankly, it's absolutely ridiculous. For shame, HTLBL, for shame.
This episode was pretty well made, too, which only makes the story problems stand out even more. Come on. It's like they're making this up as they film it. Wait, they are? Time to abandon that tactic, guys, and soon.
Stray Observations:
- Bring your comments to the comment section.
- This episode's ending was abrupt, so there's that too.
- The first shot of the episode was well-placed. There was a lot of nice cinematography in this. Too bad the story can't keep up.
- "Have you at least seen my British ID card? It's got a picture of my face on it and some crumpets?"
- Ryan is so deliciously deadpan.
- Ryan is also revealed to be a big softie.
- This was a short episode. Just a little over seven minutes, minus the bloopers.
- Overall Episode Grade: C
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