How To Live A Better Life - Season 2, Episode 12: "Puberty"

Watch The Episode Here

Two down, one to go. In hindsight, it's not very great to say that this episode, the one before it (Jordan's Big Twin Brother), and the one after it (Jordan Goes To The Dentist) are just filler before the kind of finale this season has in store. I mentioned in the last review that these three episodes aren't very memorable, so during a re-watch I feel like I am in a hurry to get through them as quickly as possible so we can get on with "The Derkiss". It's nothing like the last 4 episodes leading up to the finale of Breaking Bad's fourth season, where it is a pleasure to see things be set up to go horribly wrong. I'm not saying these episodes are bad, they are just unfortunately mismatched in terms of carrying momentum into a finale that creates a hell of a lot of weight on its own. And that same kind of mentality carries into writing the reviews. I must do them all, but damn I cannot wait to cover "The Derkiss".

As you might be able to guess by the title, this episode is focused on the growth and sexual maturity of the human body. Jordan walks in on Mike shaving (and leaving the WATER ON), and wonders why he doesn't have to do that himself. Mike tells Jordan he'll get to when they get older, to which Jordan replies with telling him they are the same age. Mike asks, "Are we?" and the two break character, turn to the camera, and discuss how "in the show" they never established what age they are. You may be expecting me to call this particular part stupid, but with all the odd decisions and fourth wall-breaking that has gone on this season, I don't really care anymore. The moment doesn't get in the way of the scene, so that's good.

Later, Mike catches Jordan googling ways to speed up puberty (eat a bowl of nails), and decides to help him out by having him ingest a chocolatey powder which I was waiting for Jordan to spit out, but the episode cut to another scene. Way to play with my expectations.

The next scene picks up in Mike Sylvan's Kitchen where Mike whips up a tasty concoction of hazelnut coffee creamer, mustard, Parmesan cheese, an egg, and mayonnaise. It reminds me of a game my friends and I used to play in 8th grade where we would face off against each other in a video game, and whoever lost had to eat or drink a gross combination of whatever we could find in the kitchen. It was an extremely hostile game, nutritionally speaking. It also led to the discovery of the vanilla, butter, and nut extract that was guaranteed to make any one of us puke when consumed on its own. We even got three of us puking on film. Not sure if I should be proud of that.

Jordan obviously rejects the concoction after tasting it, and resorts to the other tried and true method of forcing puberty: solving a rubiks cube. By "solve", I mean "destroy", because that's exactly what Mike finds the next day. He decides that the jig is up, and explains to Jordan that he already went through puberty and was only trying to help him so he could play tricks on him. This upsets the Jordan. The episode plays it safe and makes amends as Mike explains to Jordan why he was leading him on. He's just looking out for him! He's a pal! Alright, cue the freeze frame high five and let's call it a day.

It's a relatively inoffensive episode, in HTLBL terms. A classic, self-contained, Jordan and Mike episode. It seems like the things that best describe the show also make up a formula for a pretty forgettable episode. I think this show, despite using that formula very well, is really exciting when it changes things up. Those changes can be great, and they can be maddening. But remember I said that this is not the kind of show you can call "predictable". It's really at its most memorable when it is all over the place, not doing a by-the-numbers episode like this. Even when I don't like what they decided to do, at least I have something to yell about. It's time for the show to get away from the safe Mike and Jordan episodes. It's time for the show to grow, throw out some big ideas, and go through a puberty of its own.  

Stray Observations:

• The intro was kind of dumb. Jordan was talking about if he won a million dollars he'd buy California (because that is how much that state is worth), and use its people to take over Hollywood. Its new name? Jordanwood. Not worth going through a lackluster joke just to get an Austin Powers reference, nice try show.
• Mike is doing a TERRIBLE job at shaving his face that doesn't even need shaving.
• The establishing shot of the puberty powder is not that great.
• Rubiks cubes, otherwise known as "The Devil's Workshop of the 80s"
• I would watch Mike Sylvan's Kitchen. Spinoff? Spinoff? Spinoff?
• Mike didn't put an egg in the concoction. That's why it didn't work!
• Mike's reaction to Jordan actually drinking it is priceless.
• It's only fitting that the bloopers to this episode are pretty hilarious. I laughed harder at those than the episode itself.

Final episode grade: B-